I Just Called...

A lot has changed in my life in the past four months (you can read about that here).

Part of the change has been having a brand new boss. My boss is great and fun and talkative and, no matter how long you've known him, makes you feel like his BFF. He's great...really.

This past month has been tough.

Small Groups are my piece of the ministry and last week we launched over 90 groups with over 900 students as part of those groups. There was busyness and leaders and parents and students and questions and changes all over the place! It was a bit overwhelming...to say the least.

I love that I get to do what I do and would not trade one second of the countless hours we've spent investing is our groups...even with all of the madness.

My boss did something last week (after our first night of small groups) that meant so much to me.

My boss called me...just to say that I did a good job and that he was proud of me.

(This is where the little girl in me comes out...)

I was so thankful for that.

I didn't need for him to say that...because I know that recognition is not the only way that God values what we do in His name...but my boss calling me just to say that, showed me what kind of a man he is...

a really great one.

My boss isn't just fun and awesome in front of people...he's great all the time and thinks about the little things. Little things like calling to say "Hooray! You did it!".

How He Loves

Our student ministry team has spent the last week putting on (go team!) and experiencing (go the rest of us!) the PDYM Student Leadership Conference. It has been incredible and such a gift to see our students draw closer to God and become aware and surprised of God's call upon their lives. Really, really great.

Tonight, as we worshiped God through prayer, scripture, communion, giving and song I had a lot of time to reflect on what God has been dong in my heart recently.

Specifically, one song stood out to me. A song I've sung and listened to a million times. In my car, at church, on my iPod...but tonight, God spoke to me through it in such a unique way.

The song starts with:

He is jealous for me

then it says:

When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
and I realize just how beautiful You are and how great your affections are for me.

and repeats (over and over again):

He loves us, oh how He loves us, oh how He loves us, oh how He loves.

As I prayed and began a full on conversation with God all I could do was ask Him, "You're jealous for me? Me? Why?". I was deeply humbled at the thought that God would be jealous for me. That He would fight for me, for our love to grow and deepen. I couldn't even finish singing the song...thinking about His love was overwhelming.

The truth is, that His glory does overshadow anything that I could ever go through, any hardship or struggle pales in comparison to who He is in my life. I'd love to, everyday, realize more and more how great His affections are for me and remember that precious truth in times of trouble. I'd love to be completely unaware of my needs, because my Father is aware...and with Him, I need not worry. I'd love this.

Something New

The past few months have been incredible.

They have been challenging, faith-building, difficult, easy, peace-filled, emotional...most of all, they have been marked by change.

Just a few months ago I was living at home, finishing up at Biola, working at my home church in LA...

today everything is different.

I am living on my own (actually, with a really great roommate!), done with school and on staff at a fantastic church in Orange County...continuing to do what I love.

A very interesting thing about this change has been how I much I loved my life the way it was. I would have been completely happy to continue on where I was. Really, things are never and will never be perfect. But I had found that I was pleased with my with the way things were, content and in a really comfortable place. God challenged all of that.

God gave me no wiggle room and He (at all costs) showed me that He wanted to stretch me and that these changes were a part of the process that will lead me to becoming the woman He wants me to be.

It has been unbelievable to see God's hand move and provide and establish His will.

Model for a Day

I was a model...for one day.

Elizabeth Sarinana took my picture a few weeks ago, and this is what came of it (at least just a few out of the hundreds of shots:

The whole time (while taking the pictures) I kept thinking I'd be able to tell my kids, "This is what your mother looked like when she was 25!".

Being a model is hard work! We shot for about 8 hours and I was sore for a few days after...

but really, I can't complain, because Elizabeth is so talented! I'm glad I did it!

Good Ideas are Meant to Be Stolen

My friend Allison posted (a while back) about things that make you look like an idiot at a concert. While at the Hillsong United concert last night, I formed my own list:

THINGS THAT MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT AT A CHRISTIAN CONCERT

Disclaimer: What I am about to type is in no way judging the other Christians who were at the concert I attended last night, these are just simple observations that drove me a little nuts. So, please don't be offended if you fit into any of these categories.

1. Yelling "We love Jesus yes we do, we love Jesus, how about you?" across the theater over and over again. Then pointing and laughing when your side "wins" the yelling match.

2. Shouting "Jesus" when everything else is quiet and the band is trying to have a "moment" of reflection. Way to draw attention to yourself instead of Jesus!

3. Clapping and cheering when the guy in #2 shouts. Really?

4. Clapping and cheering to the beat of a song that turned out to be downtempo and not uptempo, then realizing "oops, maybe I should have waited to hear where the intro was actually going".

5. Yelling and screaming every time a song had some sort of pause...even if it was a downtempo song, again...really?

Please don't be an idiot at a Christian concert.

Apparently, Physics is Romantic

I really hate science, I don't get it and it takes me forever to understand elements, forces, pulls...boo!

The other day while listening to my iPod I realized that two of my favorite artists have made a physical force a part of their lyrics...and surprisingly enough, I love it!

John Mayer-Gravity
Gravity is working against me
And gravity wants to bring me down

Oh I'll never know what makes this man
With all the love that his heart can stand
Dream of ways to throw it all away

Oh Gravity is working against me
And gravity wants to bring me down

Oh twice as much ain't twice as good
And can't sustain like a one half could
It's wanting more
That's gonna send me to my knees

Sara Bareilles-Gravity
Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone.

You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your reign.

Set me free, leave me be.
I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.

What do you say?

What do you say to some who has hurt you and said really terrible things about you? Who has talked about you behind your back (while all the while you knew this and chose to ignore it)? Who has acted as if you didn't even exist and given you dirty looks?

I know what I chose to say...nothing. I just kept my mouth shut and never told anyone anything, just chose to let God soften their heart.

What do you say when they send you an email apologizing? And they live a few minutes away from you...

Am I asking for too much when I think a phone call or face to face conversation would have probably been more appropriate?

Don't get me wrong, I am really thankful that they have come to understand that what they did was wrong and I realize that it probably took a lot for them to actually type and send that message...but really?

What do you say? How do you respond to that?

I probably feel this way because I know that we will probably never be friends...real friends. We will probably be polite acquaintances. Nothing more, nothing less.

Is this resolution?

Maybe it is.

Maybe saying nothing, but forgiving quietly in my heart is enough.

But, what would you say?

Mucho, Mucho!

Lots of things are changing...fast, fast, fast...but I like it because there is no other place I'd rather be, than in the center of God's will.

The only way that I can describe this season of my life is with the word PEACE.

Really...peace. What an amazing gift God gives us!

More details soon!

Why, yes...I'm still here

Day 2 of PDYM was great!

It was a bit of a whirlwind...you know those times when you meet and talk with so many people at tons of different times and you wish you could remember every name, every face, every conversation but can't? Yeah, it was like that.

What most stood out though was that I think I laughed with just about everyone I met and talked with. Seriously, either I've stepped it up in my humor abilities or all these people are legitimately fun (I prefer to believe the latter is true).

I also got to meet with a few women in youth ministry and totally fell in love with them. These ladies loving God, loving students and trying to balance life as moms, wives and servants is amazing! It was great to sit and learn from one another.

Oh, and I got to say "prairie dogging it" several times...I don't know how useful that is in ministry but it was quite the highlight!

Oh, I'm Here!

I'm at the PDYM Conference this week!

I'm here with three of my youngest and funnest volunteers! Seriously, I almost peed laughing today...several times.

I'm a bit exhausted and just realized that I totally forgot to text my small group to remind them there's no small group this week, oops!

None the less, the first day here has been great! We got upgraded and received a MAJOR discount at our hotel, we got to have lunch at Panda Inn (so yummy!) and we played a couple of ping pong games where I, of course, totally dominated!

So far, so good!

I Love You, America!

I was required to go visit Voorhis Elementary last Friday morning.

When I got there, a few girls from Mrs. Morales' class kept me company while we waited for the bell to ring. As far as I knew we would enter class immediately following the bell...I was so excited when I found out there would be a patriotic program as their Friday morning assembly!

After reciting the Pledge of Allegiance (which I absolutely LOVE) we sang:

The Star Spangled Banner
and
This Land is Your Land

I love singing songs about our nation! I sang so loud that one of the little girls asked me how I knew these songs (I guess I look too old to have been around when school was invented).

Although we didn't sing:
America the Beautiful
God Bless America
The United States
Take Your Hat Off When the Flag Goes By!
My Country 'Tis of Thee
You're a Grand Ole Flag

I'd like to note that I love all these songs and would sing them anywhere, anytime...seriously.

Dear Dreams,

I really dislike you.

I've written on my blog about disliking dreams. And I stand firm on that post.

But last night was just too much! I had a really rollercoaster-y day and was super emotional. I decided to stop reading my book a bit early so I could just go to bed and clear my mind. Then came the dream...

I dreamt that someone hated me.

This is someone I really like and I totally got my feelings hurt in my dream. A little part of me hopes that the dream wasn't a premonition...that would really be terrible!

Just so you know, it was someone who reads my blog. So if you're reading this, I really hope you don't hate me in real life.

Hip Hip Hooray!

I finally got my Mac!

A lovely Talbot student was selling his for a ridiculously low price...so I bought his!

She's beautiful!

Call off the Search Party

I spent over 2 hours online last week looking for this purse:

I saw it months ago on the Roxy website. Then at Macy's over Christmas. And when I went to buy it last week it was gone.

I found it at the Quicksilver Outlet yesterday, at $22 off the original price.

How lucky am I?

A Little Change Goes a Long Way...

When I opened my Bank of America accounts last year I was enrolled in something they call "Keep the Change" transfers.

Here's what it is:

Every time you make a purchase with your ATM, Bank of America rounds the amount of the purchase up to the nearest dollar and transfers the difference to your savings account.

The clerk told me that B of A would match whatever change I transferred. I never saw that money...never. So I figured it was just a "new accounts gimmick" and forgot all about it.

Until today!

I went online to do some banking and saw that my savings account was $49.02 richer...

Yup, they finally matched it! Sweet!

PDYM

PDYM: also known as, Please Don't Yudge Me...okay, it's not known as that, but I felt the need to start off on an apologetic note. I haven't blogged in what feels like a lifetime...sorry!

The PDYM Conference is actually run by a wonderful group of people that genuinely care about the health of youth workers and the health of student ministries (the church). And go all out to serve and equip youth ministers!

If you serve in youth ministry at your church (Pastor, volunteer, dodgeball coordinator...) COME! March 24-27, 2009 at Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, CA.

Trust me, you won't regret it!

In this community of great, passionate people my ministry found health and great direction!

An added bonus is that, I'll be there! Hope to see you there too!

Here's your personal invitation!

Register at:
pdymcommunity.com