but I think it's worth thinking about.
Last week I had a bit of a falling out with a "friend".
I write "friend" because, after last week's incident, I don't think they were ever truly my friend.
Our falling out came from the idea that our friendship wasn't deep...I didn't feel like we were really friends and well...I just felt like I was willing to be a friend and that person wasn't.
I just want to note that usually I don't care about these sorts of things...or at least my friends have been so great that I never felt the need to face a situation such as this one.
As I spoke to this person I came to realize that in the past few years our "friendship" has been completely superficial, fake, vague, flat, almost non-existent. This person never knew me...and I never knew them. I feel like I tried but in the end they were happy that way and I wasn't. I also wasn't willing to settle, just to keep the "friend" around.
Losing this person doesn't hurt me because I never felt I had them in my life...they were just there...in the outskirts. But, it has made me think:
JOHN 15:13 says: Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.
and
PHILIPPIANS 2:3 says: Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.
Is it okay to leave a friendship because that person isn't on an equal playing field as you?
The bible says that we need to humble ourselves, "lay down" our own desires, lift people up as "better than" ourselves...
When someone stops serving what I think I deserve in a friendship, is that when I leave? or is that when I should serve them and be a living example? is it selfish to leave when my needs aren't met? or am I just standing up for myself?
For lack of a better phrase: WWJD? :)
3 comments:
So this is just random thoughts, so just take it as that. First I think you need to think what your definition of "friend" is. To be honest there are many levels of friendship. You have "best" friends, you have close friends, you have those aquaintaces (don't know how to spell). It sounds to me that this "friend" of yours was not a "best" or close friend, but maybe they enjoyed being around you. Just because it was not deep does not mean that there was nothing there to begin with. I know I don't know the whole story, but maybe that person has a hard time letting people into their lives....
I know it is hard to have "friends" who really don't invest into the friendship, but does that mean you drop it all together? I don't know...maybe your expectations on the friendship were more than that "friend" was wanting.
Anyways I know this is long but hope it can help you.
I think Kim is right...
I've thought about it and maybe you should just go back to the way it was (if you can) but way back when it was a "group" thing and not the recent just you two thing.
interesting... but i think Kim is right about defining your def. of a friend. Maybe this person was simply an 'aquantance,' and will continue to be one until he/she will be on the same 'playing field' as you are... is it a necesity for that to happen? I woulnd't say so. I personally don't like shallow friendships myself, but we have to be careful to not completely dismiss them because they are shallow... it just means that ufortunately, that's just what they are: an aquantance. And that does not necesarily mean that its a bad thing.
dp
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