Don't Judge Me

I just got invited to a 42 year old woman's wedding.

This is her first marriage...

Is it bad that I hope to never be her?

I never want to wait that long, be an "older" mother (if being a mother is possible at all), be in the "single" stage of life for 20-plus years...

is that wrong?

Reminders

I almost had a panic attack this weekend.

I'm doing full-time school and full-time work (ministry) this semester.

I thought I could do it, but when I saw that a huge test and paper collided this week I almost freaked out.

It took everything in me to not cry and cry and just give up.

I know I have to make some adjustments and get through it...

But today I was gently reminded of how sovereign and caring God is. He sweetly helped me get all of my work done and allowed me to enjoy it.

Old Me

Here are a few thoughts I has today while listening to an old man talk...

When I'm old I'd like to be a great story teller
I'd like to have people sitting at the edge of their seats while I'm talking
It'd be nice if I made them laugh really hard too
I'd like to smell nice, maybe a sweet scent
Maybe have a great lap to sit on
Also, I want to be able to laugh at myself... a lot
I want to be a wealth of knowledge and wisdom
I want to still be cool
When I'm old I'd like to be a really great version of me

Crybaby

The past week has been tough.

I've had tons of issues here at the church and lots of life going on in general.

I can't really talk about it, think it through or analyze the why's and what's either....I feel like I've already done enough of that.

The only thing I've been able to do is cry.

No, I haven't been a depressed mess. There have just been moments of reflection where I just start crying, just like that...I start and then I stop, I'll laugh at myself and then later I start all over again.

It's just been a flood of emotions. And I have no clue what to do with all of them...other than cry.

Twenty-Five

My star birthday is coming up...

I turn 25 on the 25th this month!

When I was a teenager I always saw 25 as the officialy grown-up age.

Anywhere before that was still being a young adult, but after that, you were a grown-up.

I'm finding it hard to accept that I've come to that age so soon! I love being single and in my twenties. It's been the most fun, gratifying, exciting time of my life! I really love my life. But, I don't know if I'm ready to grow up yet.

My life is nowhere near where I thought it would be at 25...it's been totally different, and I'm so thankful to God for that! What I've done and learned has exceeded any expectations I had as a child and teenager.

Now that I'm coming into living a quarter of a century I know I'm ready for it...and really excited to see what kind of a grown-up I become...although I may not become one for a while, no matter what I said as a kid.

An Untold Tale

Here's a San Fransisco story I never told...

last week, while Howard and I toured San Francisco I begged him to take me to the Full House, house...he did!

Here's 1709 Broderick St. (the house used whenever the Tanner house was shot from the outside) The doors used to be red and are now black:

Here's me sitting on the front steps (I ran off, scared the owners would come out and have me arrested for trespassing!)...

Here's me standing in front too! I know, I'm a nerd.

Seriously, one of the best moments of the trip!

We do what we like!

I'm sitting next to Howard right now....in the "BuisnessLink" room of San Jose's Embassy Suites. There's no wireless here, so we have to use the onsite computers...or pay $10 for 24 hours of internet in our room. We chose free internet across from the lobby.

We spent the better part of the day driving...

driving north
to In-N-Out
to his mom's friend's house
to drop his parents off
to the hotel
to Red Lobster
to many restroom stops...

So far we've taken some time to plan the next two days...

GoCars!!!!!!!
Lombard Street
Chinatown
Alamo Square
The Full House HOUSE
Alcatraz
Winchester House

there's more, but we're still planning!

More updates tomorrow...

I Promise...

I love to post on my blog.

I've just been swamped with work...

Remember I told you about my busy summer?

I just came back from a fully programmed-packed camp at Cachuma Lake and am in the middle of VBS, 'till Friday.

Then I go on vacation for a week and come back to work and start at Biola that same week.

I'm still finishing up student leadership training, doing interviews for potential staff and have trips to Raging Waters and Knotts with student ministry teams...this all happens before September 1st.

And I won't even fill you in on all the planning I have to do for the next six months...

But once my life slows down I will post again...promise!

Much Ado about Nothing

I made a to do list today (we all know how much I love those)...

One of the things on my to do list was to make a to do list.

That's when you know you need to organize your life.

I Love Him More Now, Than Ever

Janette and I drove down to SLC last night to listen in on Francis Chan's talk on worship.

It was amazing...

I've always loved Francis. Ever since my freshman year at Biola. He's just so passionate about God and His purpose for men here on earth.

Last night he took a piece of chicken out of his pocket to illustrate a point. It was a drumstick.

Any man who can make me see God in a new way with a drumstick is, in my opinion, incredible.

Twitter

Okay...

so I am attempting to "twitter"?

And just as with blogging...it might take me a while to figure it out.

My phone refuses to cooperate, so patience would be greatly appreciated.

If you're currently "twittering"?...you might want to help me...because that would make me very happy!

"Oh my Goooood! You are SO Beautiful!"

A group of us from Student Ministries went down to San Clemente for a part of the weekend...

So much fun!

We started with lunch on Friday at Fisherman's Restaurant at the pier. Their clam chowder is delicious!

Best part of lunch was Janette telling the story of a man she and her team met while in Nicaragua. Some of the girls from her team met a man that knew exactly 7 words in the English language...and he used them while following them around: "Oh my God! You are so beautiful!".

The girls got scared when he attempted to give them his phone number by typing it on a calculator and following them around with it while the whole time repeating "Oh my Gooooooood! You are SO beautiful!"...the guys on her team saved the day by telling the man to stop it.

Needless to say...we repeated that phrase to each other all weekend. I especially loved saying it to Howard when he came back from his workout.

After lunch we hung out by the beach and relaxed.

We checked in to the hotel at 3 and just did nothing until more of the boys arrived. I love watching tv, checking email, laughing, taking naps with my friends...just doing nothing feels so good.

Once the boys got there we had dinner and rented a movie. We went back to the hotel for new school year planning (which went so well). Then headed to the pool and jacuzzi.

Went to bed after the movie at about 2.

The next morning was so great...slept in a bit and went over camp details.

We went out to Casa Romantica, which overlooks the ocean:

Had lunch at a little pizzeria that sold refillable fountain drinks for 93 cents! I was the only one in my group to be ridiculously excited by the price of our drinks...seriously awesome.

Then had more beach time where Howard laid out in hopes of tanning his arms...

he did so unsuccessfully.

Went to Saddleback to visit HSM and Wildside where Allison and Bethany gave us a tour of the Refinery...fun!

A really great couple of days with friends!

Sara Bareilles

I know I'm always the last to find out about a "good" musician...and I didn't miss a beat with this one!

I listened, for months, to Sara Bareilles on TV like many of you...on commercials and such but wasn't impressed (I don't think "Love Song" is all that great).

I decided to see if any of her other songs were good, so I took a listen...

My favorite is "Gravity" ("You hold me without touch. You keep me without chains. I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your rain")...

I also like "Bottle It Up" and "Love on the Rocks".

You should try her...I think you'd like her very much!

Remember when you had to develop film in order to see the pictures?

I do.

About a month ago, while cleaning my room, I found 4 rolls of undeveloped film. Immediately it hit me, they were from my trip to Spain in 2004...yes, I procrastinate.

I didn't there there was much hope...I always thought film "went bad" after a couple of years. So I procrastinated some more and waited until this weekend to see if they were still good enough to develop the pictures.

So, I went to the little photo shop down the street from my old house (just 3 minutes from my new house). The same shop my family and I always developed film at...since I was 9. I hadn't been there since digital cameras came into existence.

Once I walked in I was transformed into a 10 year old. The signs, the smells, the people...all the same. I looked up and a banner read "We've been here since 1990". I sometimes think 1990 is recent...then I remember it's 2008...

I picked my pictures up on Tuesday....

Pictures of my friends and I gallivanting through Spain, my nieces and nephews as toddlers, my small group students who are now adults as unfashionable, awkward freshmen...

I'll post some pictures up once I get a chance to scan them!

I love bridges. I hate bridges.

I've posted (on this blog) about how bridges scare me.

I always figure some massive earthquake will hit while I'm crossing one, or that a suicidal person will take a leap just as I'm looking over the edge and leave me traumatized for life.

But last week, while listening to Howard's iPod, I realized how much I love bridges.

Most of my favorite lyrics have been part of musical bridges.

I love that realizations are made in the bridge of a song, words of inspiration are sung, the climax of it all...

I wonder what would happen if I listened to a bridge while on a bridge?

Would I suddenly love both bridges or be altogether scared?