Monday, January 7, 2008

Overwhelming

This morning I came in to the church office feeling some pressure.
Not bad pressure...just some pressure.

I came in knowing I had a lot to do, as usual.

I came in with many thoughts in mind; for student ministry, children's ministry, adult ministry...

dates, events, small groups, volunteers, meetings, locations, budgets, weekends, messages...

By 1:20pm I had done a lot but was almost at the point of tears (yes, tearing up is a usual occurrence for me).

I have been at this job for about 2 years and have kind of forgotten what it feels like to work outside of this...but what I do remember is leaving my old jobs at peace, knowing I was done for the day, and not thinking twice about it...just leaving.

I now think about my work a lot of the time. Mostly because I love students, kids, people. I want the best for them. My mind, my heart is always working.

I feel this sense of urgency, I want to do all I can with what God has given me, but I still feel so insufficient. I feel like what I have to give is not really going to go a long way.

I really need to be totally dependant on God...

because I am SO not enough for all of this.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

You are doing a fantastic job! Don't stress, just remember that the work of the Lord will never be finish until the day Jesus returns. Thank you for your hard work and dedication! The Lord sees everything you've done and will reward you greatly! Love ya!

Bibi said...

Jess, your hard work and dedication speaks for itself!! The way you feel is OK, it's normal, your human but there's no way that it's the reality. The reality is that you do so much and IT DOES SHOW!! The reality is that God uses you in such a great way that the children's ministry and the youth ministry wouldn't be where it is now if it wasn't for your work, time, passion, abilities and love.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING YOU DO!!