Complicated

When I think of the word complicated two things usually come to mind...

The Avril Lavigne song from the early 2000's and the movie "The Way We Were".
Avril aside, I'd like to focus my attention on "The Way We Were".

In a nutshell: "The Way We Were" is- Katie (girl) meets Hubbell (boy)...yada yada yada...they fall in love...doesn't work out...love gone.

When I think of Katie I think...complicated. And I'm not saying it in a bad way, I'm just saying, she was complicated.

She held on to her beliefs, convictions, standards...that's not what made her complicated though...she was willing to give those things up (if only for a short time) for the man she loved (that made her complicated).

She was emotional, impulsive, driven by desire, overly thoughtful, an analyzer...ultimately Hubbell and she couldn't get past all of that stuff, she couldn't just let it go, or follow him, no happy ending...that was her, take it or leave it...and he left it.

That's me too.

I'm complicated, in ways I don't even understand.
I dream, am let down, get annoyed, am driven by my feelings half the time, laugh, cry almost daily, love God, am picky, want to change, want to stay the same...

complicated.

It's something I've come to accept.

I love who God made me, but know He doesn't want me to stay the same. I suppose the next step is allowing God to sort through my complicated and see what turns up.

I'll let you know.